Lost

Lots on my mind. I just don't know what to do. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my sweet baby boy, but for some reason today is worse, its like everything and everyone is just getting on my last nerve. Even though its not there fault, and all I want to do is just cry. I know I did the right thing, but why doesn't feel like it? All I know is that I wanted him to have a better life then I had. He deserves so much more then I could have given him. I just look at those with kids and think to myself that I can do that. But then reality kicks in and I know there is no way, that I could give him everything that he wants and needs. I just feel so alone. Why would this happen to me? If God only gives us what we can handle why would he give me this? Why would I have to go through this? He knows me more then I know myself, but why does it seem like this is too much for me to handle? I look at my sweet babies pictures and I see how happy he is, and even that is too hard. Im almost to the point where I want to go and just not have any communication with his parents. I thought I was strong and this would be an ok thing, but giving this a chance I know that it hurts me alot. Well till next time.