Confusion!

So I have been contacted by my Case worker and I found out that, the the couple want to do a semi open adoption. I have thought and prayed about it. And I just don't know what to do. I want to see my little boy, but then at the same time I don't know how that is going to help me to heal. And since I'm not all that close to the couple. The reason I chose them was because I did not know them, so therefore Placing my baby with them was the best thing.. and now this is what they are asking of me.. I'm sure I can do it but the matter of fact is do I want to??? And maybe for others reading this, that would be really hard to do. They have sent me pictures of him, and he just looks more and more like me and birthfather. But how much do I have to go through, before I can focus on my life and to be moving forward? I need some feedback. I'm just so confused..

Just Starting.....

I have had lots of friends asking me to start a blog.. and I have not wanted to cause it takes alot of time. But as I was thinking this will help me with alot of my emotions. I don't really know what to say, or how i should say things, or where to even begin.